The situation is getting worst, problems are coming and stay. I dont see the solution yet but I know this will end soon enough.
My busy life is coming, brace yourself dear myself. Final is just around the corner, I dont just feel the the atmosphere yet I'm not ready in the other way of saying this. I dont get the momentum of studying for the finals. This semester paper are killing myself. From account to economics, from law to public administration study and from political study to relegion study. I can feel something bad is coming. I just pray for good and I dont want to be the repeaters. Shame on me, shame on behalf of my family and members. I will try to perform this semester, trying to increase my pointer and trying to change perception about my stupidity. People are underestimate me by saying my pointer are low so please dont be friend with me. Butoh pak hang lah. Dont judge the person by the pointer he or she get. Just dont. People are not stupid, maybe he or she are not into this. Like me, I'm not into this course. My passion is on drawing not reading the cases and solution. Please, my ambition before was to be an architect but god have better plan for me, so I just follow the flow. I'm sorry IF I will be kicked out from the university because like I said, I'm not into this kind of course.
The jealousy is increasing seeing my friends got their self into the course that they admire from high school. The level of insecurity is also increasing. Let them be so that I can blame myself for not studying so hard for the SPM before. But, I'm still grateful.
Oh, it have been two days that I forgot to take my breakfast and lunch. Yes, I skip meal, not for the intention of diet-ing but my life is such a misserable back days. Thank you for the classes that UiTM have arranged for us, thank you for the lecturer submission date of the assignment, the quizes/test and for the replacement class that have no gap in between. I dont have time to chilling around right now and I promise to myself that I will get a fully body massage when I reach SAC and I hope groupon have the discount rate that I can buy. In the campus, I rarely have the chance to take my breakfast or lunch. Usually I will pass by the koperasi also known the kiosk that have the lembab-ness service. I will make my pit stop to buy bread and water then I will go through from one academic block to another academic block. I normaly will eat while walking like a satan, yes I know so shh, and my friend once said, "selekeh lah kau makan sambil jalan, buku penuh dekat tangan dengan bag nak terjatuh dah, woi jalan slow sikit cun." Yes, I look that bad. Sorry ah I dont have many time to sit and have a proper lunch like a princess. I will walk and eating then I will reach class on time. Sorry for my impropriate manners. I will be so selekeh until I get married, I promise.